would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Randomize
