just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Randomize
