I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Randomize
