My balls are so social today.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
