the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
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