Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
porn star boner night. come get it.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
Randomize
