i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Randomize
