STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize
