You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
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