Buhtt sex?
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
