If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
my poor anus
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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