Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
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