He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
