i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
