I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
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