Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
