you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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