she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Randomize
