Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Randomize
