I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
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