we have pet lesbian snakes
Sponge bath it is.
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
