There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
