So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
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