Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
I had to cum in my sink.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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