my phone needs a breathalizer
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
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