Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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