I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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