I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
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