i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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