Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
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