Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
All I want is dick and wine.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Randomize
