When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Randomize
