I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
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