I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
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