Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
Randomize
