Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
