I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
