guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Randomize
