We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
