Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
