I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Randomize
