Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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