I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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