Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Randomize
