I wanna passion pit in your ass
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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