I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
This is my life. Enjoy the view
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Randomize
