You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
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