He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
I've blown a few things in my day
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
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