It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Randomize
