You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
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