We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
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