im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Randomize
