if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
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